Pressure

Pressure.  We all feel it, whether we admit it or not.  Faced with the impending Year of Chaos, I'm beginning to feel the pressure build.  I have a To-Do list that just doesn't seem to end, as I think of five more things for each thing I almost get crossed off.  So, what to do?  Should I admit, the idea of sending my precious darling to a new charter school has crossed my mind at least a dozen times per day?  Am I the only one?  I suppose I should be thankful I know the school is full, but I've been tempted to call and ask if they could make room for one more...no, I've been tempted to beg if they could make room for one more! 

So what's my problem?  Just as another blogger wrote a while back, homeschooling is a love/hate relationship, just as most big decisions and responsibilities are in life.  I love picking out curriculum and learning new things with my daughter.  I hate the thought that we're not covering as much as I think we should cover--and I hate that I can't let go of that hate.  I know we won't cover it all, and yet I can't stop myself from trying, which is extra pressure I'm placing on myself. 

I love seeing my daugther perform some math concept or reading concept that I had no idea she could grasp so quickly.  I hate when she tests me, like today, when she needed to read the word "train", which she pronounced correctly, and then said, "Oh, I mean trrr-ene.  What's a trene?" (There was a picture of a train next to the word--she knew it, yet she still wanted to test me.  This lasted about 30 minutes as she insisted she couldn't read it and I made her sit quietly until she figured it out).

I love the natural desire to learn that my youngest daughter has, and her free, happy spirit.  I hate having to continually tell her to be quiet and stop dancing as I try explaining a difficult concept to my oldest daughter.  I provide other things for Snugglebug to do, but she has a tendancy to wander around the room...

I hate spending the entire day on school and not get anything else done because Lovely spent so much time doodling crocodile bodies on greater and lesser than signs instead of answering the problems.  I love that she gives me a hug and a kiss and thanks me for doing school with her because I'm spending time with her. 
Until next time...